Absquatulates

Part of speech: verb

Definitions

1. To depart quickly or suddenly, often in a stealthy manner; to flee or escape from a situation typically involving one’s responsibilities; to abruptly leave a place or event without notice or explanation
2. To make a hasty exit or disappear unexpectedly, particularly to evade obligations; to abandon or forsake one's post in a swift manner; to leave a location with little intention of returning
3. To run away from a duty or engagement in a rapid way; to abandon a situation with little warning; to slip away quietly and often unexpectedly from a place or circumstance

Etymology: Nobody coined this word for serious use. It is a jocular formation from American English, built on "abscond," which comes from Latin "abscondere," "to hide away." The mock-Latin ending gives it a scholarly air that clashes comically with its meaning of a hasty getaway. Its middle sound may also have been influenced by "squat," as if the runaway had crouched down and bolted. The "-es" ending marks this as the third-person singular present form of "absquatulate," so "he absquatulates" means he slips away quickly, often to avoid responsibilities. The humor is the point: a grand-sounding verb for an undignified exit.